Choose Our Own Adventure

Choose Our Own Adventure random header image

About us!

 

Introduction:
We are Ryan and Jenn. We want you to become addicted to us–we have. We want you to take us daily, with water, preferably not up the ass. However, we admit the latter method is more efficient, and will produce a stronger high.

Thesis:
We’re fucking awesome.

Body:
Ryan. Jenn.
Boy. Girl.
36. 28.
Loud. Biggish boobs.
Flat feet. Mute.
Bacon. Tofu.
Sake. Sake.
Smoke. Rock climb.
Chips. Gummy bears (Ginger).
Japanese/Chinese. Canadian/Chinese.
Much facial hair. Slight mustache.
Chuck Palahniuk. Miranda July.
Writer. Writer.
From Hawaii. From Hawaii.
Karaoke. Turbo kickboxing.
Inanimate object humper. Inanimate object.
UH. Harvard.
Kaiser. Iolani.
Linear-non. Peace Corps.
Tesla. Plath.
Dostyevsky. Pessoa.
Toxic. Hygienic.
Logical. Estrogenic.
3 nipples. 2.
Daddy loves Vegas. Daddy loves Vegas.
NO BABIES.
Morphine patches. White wine.
Early Bird. Night Owl.
grammar; anar!chy. Harvard.
Running man. The Carlton.
AgnosticAgnostic [Unsure of Agnosticsm]. Orthodox Ju Ju bee [fusion of Tae Bo and veganism].

Conclusion:
Stop telling the world about Jesus and global warming– tell them about Ryan and Jenn. Ryan and Jenn won’t make you stop masturbating to old videos of El DeBarge and/or the Miami Sound Machine on your iPod, even during mass. Hell, especially during mass. We’re fucking cool like that. We won’t make you use less toilet paper or feel guilty about your S.U.V. You can spill oil on your exposed genitals while spraying aerosol into the fucking ozone and reciting the Old Testament backwards in Arabic–we don’t care, we love you unconditionally. You don’t have to scream out our names during sex, or worship us, although, come on–you know you want to. Look, all we’re saying is that we are cooler than Jesus and global warming, and wouldn’t it be fun to go karaoke with us?

We love you. Now love us back you fuckers.

Big smile…

and scene.

 

128 Comments

128 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Jo // Mar 2, 2008 at 2:30 am

    Ha. I just found your page stoned out of my mind. Thank you. It’s pretty fucking cool.

  • 2 kathie13nj // Mar 16, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    Are you back in Hawaii?? I spent 3 weeks last August @ Makaha Golf Club…how I wish I was there now…it was so beautiful but sad too - all the homeless - can’t we get Oprah to do the Big Give and help them?

  • 3 Mayumi Shimose Poe // May 2, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Umm. Wow. Your blog is deeply awesome.

    Also, hi, Jenn. I went to school with you, my hubby, Dave Poe, was your classmate. Wasssssup?!

    Ok. That’s it. Keep rocking on with your own bad selves.

    May

  • 4 Jason Tom // Dec 5, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    Classic!

  • 5 bzzz // Jan 6, 2009 at 6:51 am

    great concept. u guys are richer than most people will ever be… pleasepleaseplease keep it coming

  • 6 ben // Feb 23, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    hillarious. unbelievably creative. supremely talented. i laughed my ass off to your “unemployment dance”. thanks for brightening up my day.

  • 7 Alexandra // Mar 31, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    I love reading your blogs! So weird how I came across your page.. It started with me working on a vision board.. I googled images of one of the following, can’t remember which one exactly, “skinny bitch” the book, vegan, or health food. I clicked on one of the images and your myspace was the site that the image came from I guess. It looked pretty interesting.. so I started reading and have randomly gone to your website/blogs ever since. Great stuff!

  • 8 jenn meleana // Apr 1, 2009 at 12:26 am

    alexandra! aw, thanks. i am always shocked when strangers leave comments and read our bloggie blog that we never post to anymore. for the most part, we thought our audience was only friends and family. i’m glad skinny bitch brought us together! thanks for the comment and the support. we want to get back into blogging again… i miss it.

    take care,
    jenn

  • 9 Sam // Jun 3, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    Dear Ryan,

    I couldn’t resist responding to something you wrote.
    So your cooler than Jesus? said who? well Ry - I have spent time in the presence of Jesus and it has been the most incredible and tangible experience I have ever had.
    being in the presence of Jesus makes me weep from the core of my being with joy and gratitude and love that is perfect, pure and Godly. when you experience it, you know it and it makes sense. It doesn’t have to be explained and can hardly even be expressed adequately in words - its a knowing. This far outweighs anything I have ever encountered in this world…you are certainly cool, but not that cool!

    Love you like cooked food bro, you know that. XXXXXXX

  • 10 Sam // Jun 3, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    oh..and I miss you.

    You know, that ‘alive’ part of you

    so much.

    I loved being with you & Jenn. Please come to London soon. X

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    I’m loving your blog, guys, and would love to read more! I also love Miami Sound Machine and am glad I won’t be judged for that.

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    That is one awesome video you guys made! Love that Remix!

    Till then,

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    Haha, I really enjoyed reading the comparisons of you two’s bios side by side. :D

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